John and the Text That Changed Everything

In honor of my favorite three-year-old in the world, here is the story of The Text that Changed Everything.

Once upon a time, Mike and I were happy parents of a busy, beautiful two-year-old boy, Henry.  He was growing, he was sweet, he was intelligent, and he was letting us sleep quite a bit.  And by all accounts, we had struck adoption gold - no complications, no delays, no legal hiccups, and minimal birth family drama.  We had been able to finalize his adoption in court on time, perform a Mormon family ceremony ("sealing" Henry to our family) in the Salt Lake temple at our leisure, and post happy pictures on Facebook with wild abandon.

And I thought I was busy.  I had a toddler boy, for crying out loud!  I had only his two naptimes per day, every evening, and weekends to do housework, magnify my Stake YW President calling, and enjoy my own pursuits. Phew.

Then, in late March of 2013: "Would you consider adopting a child whose parents you knew?" came the text on Mike's phone.  It was from our friend Toni, who we know from church and who, with her family, live a couple doors down from my parents.  This has come to be known in our family lore as The Text That Changed Everything.

We knew a little bit about the family.  We knew the most about Toni's son, Johnny, who was our dear friend and had recently been killed in a car accident. I knew Toni also had a couple of daughters, but it was Mike who knew them personally, as he had employed them both at different times in the past.  So, after some conjecture between Mike and I about what exactly the mysterious text might mean exactly, we said yes, we would consider just about anything.

It was a couple days later that we formally met little Cooper John.  We had seen him from the opposite side of the chapel on Sundays but had no real one-on-one interaction with him.  (We were super busy new parents, after all!)  It was Toni's daughter Lori who had made that courageous decision to send the text that would be the first step in welcoming her precious son into our family.  This is the very first picture I snapped of him:

Soooo cute, right???  Those cheeks!  And that smile!  He was a hummingbird of a one-year-old boy, incredibly busy and curious.  But such a sweet, loving soul.  Very quick to smile.  Even now, on the occasion of his third birthday, most of the pictures I take of him are blurry.

Over the course of the next few weeks, we began to fall in love with him.  We spent time with him at both our home and at Toni's home, visited with and got to know the heroic Lori, met with lawyers and a social worker, and eventually, on Sunday, May 20, 2013, brought him home to stay:

Photo credit to Ann Mines Bailey

(I like to think of this as the moment where Henry realized he really, truly got a brother!)

Wanting to honor the afore-mentioned Johnny (as well as Toni's husband John), we decided that his middle name should become his first. And for continuity, we gave him the middle name William so that both of our boys have middle names from their uncles.

And, once again, we struck adoption gold.  No complications, no delays, no legal hiccups, and no birth family drama.  We were able to finalize his adoption in the court on time, perform our family sealing in the LDS temple soon thereafter, and Facebook has never seen such handsomeness!

One of the first moments of real brotherhood I captured: (Fun Fact: they are now the same height)

Each Sunday, and as we run into each other around town, we are able to talk with and share this miracle of a boy with his birth family.  They have been understanding about our need to bond as a family, which has been a huge blessing.  I am not one to shy away from social media, so I know that they are able to watch him grow and receive news.

I really don't remember life before our little John. And yes, I am busier than ever before.  But, thanks to The Text That Changed Everything, everything has indeed changed.

Making his 3rd birthday cupcakes, morning of March 16, 2015

150 Soda-Free Days (How and Why)

Firstly, much gratitude to each of you who've encouraged me to keep up the soda-free lifestyle.  Facebook posts, messages, hugs, even your own choices to do the same have been nothing short of fulfilling and inspiring in return.

However.  The following two points must be made before you read any further concerning the fact that I have abstained from carbonated drinks for 150 consecutive days.

1. It wasn't really my decision in the first place.  

2. It is not due to my strength and willpower that I continued after the decision was made.

I have battled headaches of all kinds since childhood.  Headaches from staying up too late, headaches from crying, stress headaches during college finals, etc.  Nothing too worrisome, and could usually be taken care of with ibuprofen, and eventually Excedrin.  Then, a few years ago, I began to get headaches whenever I was in the sun too long, or got overheated or even uncomfortably warm (And thus began my dislike of summer - but that's another post for another time).

It was late in August of 2014 that I finally told my doctor, received an official diagnosis of migraine headaches, and was prescribed a drug called Topomax (or more specifically, a generic called Topiramat).  Essentially, this was a medication to be taken constantly (two pills at night, one in the morning) to break the cycle of Excedrin Migraine in which I was caught.  Do this until around the holidays and then wean myself off.  The plan was to then only use OTC pain meds like Excedrin Migraine, Tylenol or ibuprofen as needed.

One of the unlisted side effects of this Topomax is that it makes any carbonated drinks taste weird.  And when I say taste weird, I mean the flavor is intact.  But the carbonation itself takes 2-3 seconds to "kick in" or, for my tongue to sense it, which is a very long time in sip time.  By the time it does in fact, kick in, it does so with a vengeance, almost as an aftershock, and makes up for the lost time.  It is not fun or refreshing in any way nor are the bubbles rejuvenating or crisp (which is what I used to love about them, nor as the soda companies intend them to be). Bleh.  

So.  While posting the "X-number of days Soda-Free" on Facebook has garnered its fair share of accolades and "you can do it"s, now you know.  It's a sham!  If it were up to me, I would be slurping down my afternoon Mountain Dew, drinking my weight in Martinelli's sparkling apple cider on special occasions (like Flag Day or you know, Tuesday), and ordering hand-mixed cherry Cokes at Red Lobster, because dang it, I hate seafood, that place smells like fish and I am having a steak and a cherry Coke.  

And now the holidays are long over.  I am not supposed to be on Topomax forever.  I can only imagine that an exit strategy is on the horizon.  Why?

Are you ready for another dirty little secret?

Topomax only worked for a couple of months.  I still get headaches anyway. As I sit here and type this, I am coming off Day 4 of a manageable ache on my right temple that nestled in right after a particularly rigorous workout.

So I can only imagine that the next time I go in to see my doctor, I am not going to continue with this medication.  And because I have no passion, desire, or burning affirmation that abstaining from carbonation has bettered me physically, spiritually or emotionally, I think the clock is ticking.

But I could be wrong.  There's a reason (well, several) that I don't have a license to practice medicine.  I'm just saying that if once again, soda tastes like it did before August of last year…well, there's a good chance I'll be satisfied with telling the story of that one time when I made it 150+ days without it.